I saw the headline come across the crawl while watching one of the ESPN channels. 'McGwire's Brother Claims Big Mac Used Steroids.' The headline certainly was an attention grabber. My mind went immediately to McGwire's borther Dan, who had a brief career in the NFL as a quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks.
So I decide to go to my computer, call up the story online, and see that there's another McGwire brother. Apparently Jay McGwire is the one who wrote a book in which he claims he knew of Big Mac's own use of steroids and human growth hormone.
My first reaction was 'tell me something I don't know.' But then I read the story from top to bottom and come to find out that Jay and Mark McGwire aren't on speaking terms. They're estranged. And that's the point that I became disgusted with the whole thing.
Here you have the man's own brother trying to shop a book, claiming it to be a tell all (thank goodness he's been rejected on numerous occasions). His own brother. This isn't a former teammate who wanted to get back at Major League Baseball for a perceived slight (Jose Canseco). This isn't some steroids dealer trying to save his own skin (Kirk Radomski). This isn't some personal trainer trying to salvage his own seedy reputation (Brian McNamee). This is Mark McGwire's own brother. His own flesh and blood. A guy he grew up with. His own family was selling him out.
And that's the point where I started feeling sad for Mark McGwire.
Now, let me clarify something here. I'm not sad that he isn't in the Hall of Fame. I believe he cheated the game of baseball, and broke Roger Maris' record while using performance enhancing drugs. That's not why I feel sorry for him.
I feel sorry for him for a number of different reasons. First, there was the way he retired. He quietly walked away. There was no news conference. There was no teary good bye. He simply notified the Cardinals he was done and filed his paperwork with MLB. Part of it was his own doing (the alleged steroid use). Part of it was the fact that he didn't want to be the center of attention. He didn't want it in 1998 (The Summer of Love) - the best of times. He didn't want it when he walked away.
And he hasn't looked for the spotlight one time since retiring. He could have written a book. There were a hundred interviews he could have done. But he honestly did not want the spotlight. He wanted to be left alone to live his life.
It hasn't quite worked out the way he wanted. First there was the book 'Juiced' by Jose Canseco. The one in which Canseco claims to have injected McGwire with steroids. Considering the inaccuracies contained in Canseco's second book 'Vindicated' one has to wonder how truthful Canseco was in the first book. Either way, it was the accusation that made headlines. The headlines drove McGwire, an intensely private person to go into a deeper hibernation.
He did emerge to stand in front of Congress on March 17, 2005. We all know that what happened that day. His refusal to answer questions about anything he did in the past. We've all watched the tape. We've all heard the sound bytes.
McGwire has pretty much disappeared since then. Radio talk show hosts, newspaper columnists, television talking heads all took McGwire to task. But, in retrospect, it is important to remember that out of all the people that testified that day, McGwire might be the only one that didn't lie about anything. Rafael Palmeiro - we know he was caught using steroids less than six months after going to Congress. Sammy Sosa suddenly forgot how to speak English. Curt Schilling, previously an outspoken anti-steroids guy, took back many of the accusations he made before going to Washington.
All McGwire did was refuse to answer questions. He probably should have just come clean, but chose not to, and he was scorched because of it.
I feel bad for Mark McGwire because I keep hearing how he'd love to get back into baseball as a coach, but can't seem to take that step for fear of being asked about steroids. I hear how he conducts clinics for some of the players on the Cardinals roster. He obviously loves the game and has something to offer. But he's afraid. Afraid to come out of his little cocoon.
Baseball could use a guy like Mark McGwire. Even though I believe he cheated, you could never look at him and compare him to the likes of Barry Bonds, Sosa, and Canseco. He was never a diva. If baseball has truly moved on from The Steroid Era, then he would be welcomed back with open arms. He's apparently been offered the chance on more than one occasion.
But whether it's his intense pride or fear of more accusations being made, or just plain stubbornness he stays secluded. Almost like he's a prisoner in his own home.
And that's why I feel bad for Big Mac.
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